Seems that I’m mistaken,
And this wine was just the trick.
I’m feeling much more mellow,
And now you’re looking pretty slick.
My dreams last night were based in B&Q.
And now I’m heading back there, as need a larger screw.
Sweet May you bring the lilacs,
And warmer evening breeze.
You gift us morning birdsong,
And blossom in the trees.
The wind is big and bold outside,
All vim and noisy bluster.
And you have stayed to keep me safe,
Which has me all a-fluster.
Bear with me, peops. I don’t do this often, but this has been annoying me for a few days. Background and explanation to follow; just need to capture this quickly while its dancing around in my head.
The resurrected accusation of being manipulative. How funny. Standard deflection strategy from a person exhibiting both long-term, entrenched, delusional and victim behaviour.
I’ve not worn this mantel before. Mainly because I’ve no need. I can validate friendships, create relationships, and surround myself with healthy good-hearted people through authentic, balanced, and empathic exchange.
So my question… has to be around motivation. What would benefit me to implement manipulative tendency in our (now historic and boring) situation?
It’s time for the mirror-work. Not the kind where you gaze at yourself and dream of being a princess, but where you make an exercise of focussing on yourself. An introversion to examine how you may be the curator of your own journey. How your inner monologues reflect a crevasse between reality and your perception. Take a moment to look around and wonder why those who cared most, invested much, and felt you mattered, have had to remove you from their lives.
Be ok with your brokenness, love your healing. But don’t be blaming others for your fear responses, hidden behind uncontrolled arrogance. We are not the reason. Move forward, but don’t rebuke others for not wanting to walk beside you; you’re difficult and tragic and ridiculous. And I wouldn’t waste my energy manipulating any of that crazy.