#notarealpoem

I suck in air
And my face crumples
Hold my own hands to stop them clawing.
Eyes beam loathing
But leak such hacking sadness
Violence on these lips
And electric air around me.
I am mirrored across the room
At once real, and what a picture.
Gasping sobs breaking free
As lungs release.
As tears release.
As sorrows release.
And months of lonely
Make a halting escape
Breathed out as I count my way
To ease my ache.
In-out, in-out…
A moment still
A shame
A nod to ghosts now flown
And I lean exhausted
Slack-jawed and swollen eyed.
Avoiding my reflection
Too tired.
Too depleted.
Too slow.

Stand up and TV off
And hit the lights
And lock the door and move some cushions.
And slide into bed.
Bring sleep.
Bring dreams.
Bring hope.

Bring hope.

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