And I am a fraud. A middle class, middle of the road, middle aged, middling to mild, creation. One whose dreams bounded beyond borders but have only achieved mediocrity. While heroines rose high, reality was a catalogue of muddling through. Nothing colourful or qualified, a remix of sameness, repetition of the similar; looping with no crescendo. A myriad of almosts, no climax. Dull and dowdy, the self-delusion of sophistication. I can dine with seven sets of cutlery, but have never been invited to. I am widely read, but never the right authors. Somber at the wrong times, joking at the worst. In my head I speak, in turns, with the seduction of Nin, and the wisdom of Angelou. To you, I am comedy relief. The voice of a clumsy prankster. Not the beguiling creature you had hoped. I am not who I dreamed I am. And not where I pretend to be. Yours will be a polite slow seeping boredom. The visuals, a disappointment.
But at least you will laugh. With me or at me.
Advertisements

It often is important
To respect from whence you came.
But better that you know,
When it’s time not to remain.
When it’s time to hit the road Jack
And get a wriggle on.
Cos while you love your people dear,
The urge to fly is strong.

Great seas full of adventure
And skies to cast your dreams.
So many laughing faces,
To share the nomads’ theme.
And out there in the world
Are hopes and gifted gems
To taste and to dissolve in
Beyond the focus of a lens.

compass

Ah. February. Your end does tease.
In a sulking, shrugging way.
Skulking out there in the grim.
Your grey cloak is no warming
Shoved down hat precludes my begging.
Shuffle off. I am chronically sickened by you.
Tag in the striding March. For we are ready
And it will be a pleasure to see April’s
Bi-polar sunshine and snow sweep forward.
Swap places now. We are done
You and I.
Take your fixed, determined stare
And go.

pretty-tea-cup

 


“A timely reminder to me of the promise I made myself a few years ago; we are not able to control the actions of others, should not expect empathy or respect. They have their own journey and it is not mine to chastise. I can keep them company from a distance as they walk their path or stay near linking arms, but I must not make judgement from my view. All I can do is be the best person I can. At all times, kind, patient, and brave.”
~ Lifted from my Facebook post, 24 February, 2014